Routines … Setting yourself up for success

I know when I say the word ‘routines’, some people will balk.  It feels like restrictions are being placed on us.  I was one of those people.  But what we don’t realize is … 

1.) We all have routines in our day.  The question is, do these routines support us?  And 2.) Routines actually give us more freedom.  The benefits of routines are greater than we think …

• Frees up brain space:  When we have routines in place we have less planning and decision making to do.

• Ensures for a smooth day:  Morning and evening routines will set us up so that we will be less likely to forget things and events.  We will have less scrambling around looking for things and tying up loose ends when we’ve used our routines.

• Increases self-care:  Also, we will be less likely to neglect chores and our own self-care.  If we have self-care (from simple things like flossing to more 

This all sounds great … but we all know that sticking with new habits and routines is the hard part.  Consider these suggestions:

• Start small: make sure to not overwhelm yourself with lofty, multi-step routines.  Start with micro-habits and short routines.

• Be flexible: keep re-evaluating your routines - routines may need to be adjusted from time to time to fit our needs.

• Be good to yourself: we are all human and will at times fall off our routines.  Give yourself grace.

• Use the buddy system: get support from a friend or family member.  Help each other by giving encouragement, reminders or acting as a body double.

• Anchor:  attach your new habit to an existing part of your day to help you be consistent!

• Be good to yourself … and re-start!

- Amanda

Affirmations … What are you sending out to the universe?

“Your beliefs become your thoughts, Your thoughts become your words, Your words become your actions, Your actions become your habits, Your habits become your values, Your values become your destiny.” ― Mahatma Gandhi.

As we go through our days we have a running loop of thoughts.  The question is, are these thoughts supporting you or bringing you down?  This is where affirmations come in.

What are affirmations?  Affirmations are positively phrased statements that are reviewed in your mind, stated out loud or written down to reinforce a new belief that you desire to hold about yourself or about the way the world works.  

Affirmations work in two ways.  

First, using affirmations is like a filter for your mindset.   When you affirm something such as, “Everything always works out well for me”, your mind will automatically start to look for evidence to prove this statement.  Unfortunately, it also works the opposite way.  For example, if you are saying to yourself, “This is not my day!”, your mind will have a filter on that looks for the bad parts of your day and you will easily overlook all the good parts of your day.  This also encourages us to interpret all events in a negative way.  There is a quote from Eckhart Tolle that states that it is not what happens to us that causes suffering but the story we tell ourselves about what happened to us.  

Secondly, affirmations work with the laws of energy.  It is scientifically known that thoughts are energy.  When we have a thought we are putting out a certain vibrational frequency depending on the type of thought.  Every thought has an influence on us and everything around us; therefore, we need to be very aware of what it is that we are sending out into the universe. 

We are able to choose one thought over another.  What are you going to choose?  Let’s choose to support ourselves.  Let’s choose to bring in good energy into our lives!

- Amanda 

Limiting Beliefs … What’s holding you back?

As we look at others and feel that spark of envy or we think about a long held dream that we’ve always had, we feel those thoughts creeping up.  The thoughts that sound like, “Good things never happen to me.” or “I’m not smart enough” or “I don’t have the right credentials” or “Things are always difficult for me”.  These are common examples of limiting beliefs that many of us hold.  Let us break down this term … Belief: a thought that we hold to be true … Limiting … something that holds us back, keeps us small … limits our experiences.  So, a limiting belief is a belief that we hold to be true (about ourselves or about how the world works) that holds us back from experiences or from achieving the things we’ve always wanted.  

Where do these beliefs come from?  They could originate from an experience in our childhood … maybe in first grade you made a picture and someone laughed at it, then from then on the limiting belief, “I can’t draw” began running in the background.  We also can acquire limiting beliefs from those around us.  We can hear our parents say things, our culture, our friends and take those beliefs on as truth.  For example, “Our family is not the type of people who do ___”, “We can’t afford to go ___”, “Money doesn’t grow on trees”, “Women can’t ____” 

These limiting beliefs can sometimes be common among many people or they can be completely unique to each person.  The thing they all have in common is they are negative, they are limiting, and they aren’t true.  Truth is only what you believe it to be.  It’s like the famous Henry Ford quote … “If you believe you can or believe you can’t … you are right”.    

These beliefs are tricky because often they are running on a loop in our unconscious mind.  The most powerful thing we can do for our healing and overall wellness is to start to identify these limiting beliefs.  If we can bring these beliefs into our conscious awareness now we have the power to address them and move forward.  Limiting beliefs may span across all areas of our lives.  You may have many in each area or maybe more in one area of your life.  I would recommend just selecting one or two areas of your life that you feel are most significant right now.  Once you learn the process of moving through limiting beliefs you can return at any point to address any others that are still lingering or any new ones that may arise.

So are you ready to move forward?  Are you ready for the life you’ve always wanted?  If so, check out my free worksheet to help you begin identifying these limiting beliefs here:

https://amandakugler.com/free-resources

Good luck!  

- Amanda

Passion … Have you lost your Passion for life?

Do you wake up dreading the day?  Dreading your job?  Dreading the humdrum of daily life?  Have you taken time to listen within to see what you feel passionate about?  Or maybe you used to feel passionate about something but responsibility and practicality have taken over.  Possibly you are expecting to still feel passionately about something and you are a different person now.  

Passion can stretch across several areas of our life … our career, our personal life, our relationship.  While contentment is a beautiful thing.  Just like every other aspect of life a balance will always be best.  Balance between feeling content … (I like to view it more as present and grateful) … and feeling passionate.  While not every day and every task is going to be filled with passion and excitement (well it hasn’t yet … who’s to say it won’t happen someday… I suppose that’s a mindset as well.  I’m sure there are some people who can make cleaning the toilet an enjoyable task!)  I would like to encourage you to consider if you are just going along.  Do you really feel called to do the work you’re doing?  Do you feel inspired to do the work you’re doing?  However, I do believe that sometimes our job serves another purpose at certain points in our life (this doesn’t mean that it will always be that way).  I truly am grateful for all my previous work experience.  I feel that I learned sooooo many lessons that prepared me for who I am today and for the journey ahead.  I also feel that a job can sometimes provide you the funding and security that you need to pursue another dream. 

Maybe it’s not work … maybe it’s your personal life or a relationship.  Passion is something that may require some effort on our part.  We may need to communicate what we want.  We may need to try to incorporate some things into our life or adjust our      

There are many ways to live passionately!  Maybe it’s through a creative endeavor, volunteer work, career, relationships.  I give you permission to look within and find what excites you!

- Amanda 

Guilty Pleasures

Pleasure … What does this word bring to mind?  What feelings come up?  Guilt?  Shame?  Are you immediately associating pleasure with something wrong … something selfish?  Or has it been so long that you are having a difficult time remembering what brings you pleasure?  This can be a difficult area for many adults … especially women.  We have even come up with a term that makes it clear how our society views pleasure … “Guilty pleasures”.  We are sent these messages that if we are seeking pleasure then we are “wrong”, “bad”, “selfish”, “frivolous” and if we do allow ourselves moments of pleasure then we definitely need to feel “guilt” or “shame” afterwards to make up for our momentary lapse in judgement.  When we are children we make most of our decisions based on pleasure (what will make us feel good).  Then over the years we are taught how to be responsible, how to sacrifice and how to do the “right” thing.  Slowly we lose sight of what we like, what we want, what feels good and our decisions are made based on what would be best for others, what is expected of us (by family, culture, etc.), or what is the responsible thing to do.  

I remember being so tightly wound that I had forgotten how to have fun.  I definitely identified pleasure with guilt and being frivolous.   I wasn’t allowing fun.  I had to be financially responsible … health conscious.  There was always the ever looming feeling that there was something more “productive” that I SHOULD (ugh!) be doing.  I had become out of touch with myself and what I actually found pleasurable.  I realized that I couldn’t answer simple questions such as “What’s your favorite ___?”  I was so used to working hard, doing the “right” thing, doing what was convenient for others.  I couldn’t even honestly answer the question, “Would you like a glass of water?” when offered to me because I would immediately default to “no, thank you” so I wouldn’t inconvenience anyone.  So, I began to make a list.  Started to tune in and raise my awareness.  When I found myself enjoying something I would stop and take it in for a moment … be mindful of the moment .. and then write it down.  

So I have discovered that sauteed onions and live acoustic music are two of my favorites. 

I started to realize that my responsibility/pleasure meter was way out of balance. 

Forgetting that allowing ourselves pleasurable moments is not only “not wrong” but is actually needed for our overall well-being (stress levels, physical health, mental health) and positively contributes to the health of our relationships (with ourselves, significant others, friends, children & families).  

Now we don’t have to go wild to embrace pleasure but I encourage you to begin tapping in to yourself again.  Start remembering what it is that you like!  Enjoy those moments of pleasure and plan to have more of them!  Remember that you are worthy of love, pleasure and joy!  

- Amanda

Turning Fear into Curiosity

Fear has been a common emotion this year.  I’m sure we can all recall a time in the recent months where we were experiencing fear.  Although we all would classify fear as a “bad” emotion or low vibration emotion, we don’t need to avoid it.  We often qualify emotions as “bad” and either try to avoid them, deny them or beat ourselves up for feeling them.  However, all the human emotions are not only “not bad”  but are necessary to experience the full human experience.  Fear is definitely a necessary emotion as it is our internal warning system when we could be in danger.  Our mind is wired to protect us from harm … whether that harm is real or perceived.  

I feel strongly that fear can sometimes lead us to be clouded in our judgment (more easily influenced by others opinions), miss out on opportunities and keep ourselves small.  

Fear is a necessary emotion but it doesn’t have to define our existence or control our decision making.  We can check in with the fear, determine the level of actual threat and then proceed with action.  

So what do we do when fear is creeping into our lives?  

Below are some strategies for addressing fear and moving through it … 

1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness can be the number one strategy for any situation.  What it basically speaks to is our ability to slow down, tune in and raise our awareness of our environment, our bodies and/or our emotional state.  There is significant power in being able to recognize our emotional state in the moment and just observe without judgement.  Practice recognizing and just observing the feelings that are arising.  When you are aware of the feeling that is arising then you will be able to address it more quickly and appropriately.  

2. 5 Second Rule (5, 4, 3, 2, 1 ….) 

(Mel Robbins)  This strategy can be applied to many different situations.  When we are experiencing fear we can often “freeze” and be stuck.  In this case, when we have become mindful and recognized the fear we can use this strategy to help move forward.  To implement this strategy you simply need to begin counting backwards from 5.  This will switch your brain out of the ineffective emotional state and activate the decision-making pre-frontal cortex.  

3. Curiosity 

When fear comes into our lives sometimes we can be easily overwhelmed by it and blinded by it.  Once we have recognized the fear through mindfulness and utilized the 5 second rule to switch on our pre-frontal cortex, now we are ready to use a cognitive strategy to work through the fear.  One such strategy could be to open ourselves up to curiosity around the situation.  Rather than reacting with fear, maybe we can use curiosity.  Consider asking questions such as:  I wonder why this is happening this way?  I wonder if it was supposed to happen exactly this way?  I wonder what I can learn from this situation?  I wonder if things will actually be better after this has passed?

4. Opportunity 

Another strategy that can help when in a state of fear can be approaching the situation by considering what opportunity lies ahead.  When our fear comes in around going down a new path, chasing a dream or putting ourselves in any type of situation where we are vulnerable, we can reframe our mindset to look for the opportunities that could be.  Rather than staying in a mindset where we are letting our fears skew us towards the anxiety based “what-ifs” we can switch to the opportunity based “what-ifs”.  Instead of asking … “What if I fail?” consider “What if I succeed?”  Instead of “What if no one likes my work?” try “What if my work is what everyone has been waiting for?”  Instead of “What if I’m not good enough?” ask “What if I am great?”

- Amanda

Needs: Dig deeper … Express more clearly … Let down our defenses

Did you ever have one of those arguments with someone where you quickly go to blaming?  Blaming the other for all the things they didn’t do for you … or ways they didn’t make you feel?  This is the time for us to stop and think about how in tune we are with our needs and how well we are expressing them?

I encourage you to take some time to be still and reflect on your needs and how you can better express them.  Sit or lay comfortably … close your eyes … start by placing your hands over your root chakra (base of your spine) and take a quiet moment to reflect on what some of your physical needs are.  Make sure to have pen and paper nearby to document what you discover.  Next, place your hands over your heart chakra (heart) and tune in to what some of your emotional needs are.  

Now on a daily basis are you structuring your day or effectively advocating so that most, if not all of these needs are being met.  

Sometimes when we feel let down we may default to the “I don’t need anyone” or “I can do it all myself”.  Maybe just because we CAN do it all doesn’t mean we “HAVE” to do it all ourselves.  Maybe just because we don’t NEED anyone doesn’t mean we can’t WANT to lean on others or share life with someone.  Maybe both of those statements are a defense mechanism for self-protection.  If we don’t let anyone in or don’t rely on anyone then they can’t disappoint us.  

Do you find yourself trying to do it all and then mad when you are left to do it all?  Maybe we need to dig deeper … express more clearly … and let down our defenses.  

Do you consider what you need?

Are you setting yourself up for success?

Does it make sense to be upset with someone else for not meeting your needs if you don’t have a clear idea of what they are and/or haven’t clearly expressed them?

- Amanda

This is my opportunity to do better ...

As I sit here on a plane headed for home, I stop as we momentarily pass through a cloud.  Vision temporarily obstructed … the pilot must trust … I hold my breath … I must trust that we will emerge unscathed on the other end.  As we pass through there are bumps … the pilot knows that these bumps come with the territory of passing through a cloud.  As we are experiencing extreme distress in our world right now we don’t know what the future holds.  We are experiencing extreme turbulence in our world.  As we pass through this “cloud” … we need to trust … we need to unite.  While our vision of our physical reality is temporarily obstructed, we need to turn inward to dream … to imagine.  Imagine the reality we need to see.  Imagine our future.  Imagine the world we want for our children and all the future generations.  Let us dream big and then take action.  I am uncertain of what that may mean for each of us.  But as long as we unite together and act from a place of unconditional love and a genuine place of wanting to learn, we can’t go wrong.  I won’t pretend to know the answers.  I may not say all the right things or do all the right things.  But I will try.  I will educate myself and my children.  This is my opportunity to do better.  

I Had a Moment

Well I was tested … I have been doing okay for the most part during this pandemic.  It’s been hard, it’s been challenging in many ways, but overall I’ve kept my emotions fairly in check.  I’ve had the occassional moment, but finding a routine and working on projects that give me purpose have kept me anchored.  However, I didn’t realize how sheltered I’ve been.  When you’re almost exclusively at home it’s easy to get out of touch with what’s going on.  Yes, I’ve seen it on Facebook or videos but it’s still removed.  This week, my anxiety was tested.  We received some difficult news and then needed to make a decision.  Making a decision right now in this time where everything seems uncertain, was not an easy feat.  However, a decision was made … and then quickly changed.  I had the wave of anxiety hit me.  I had a moment.  Okay, several moments.  I talked in a recent post about some anxiety strategies that have helped me in the past.  After this experience I realized I left out a few other strategies.  

The first was to just allow myself to not be okay for a bit.  I talked previously about acknowledging that these emotions are legitimate, but also not rushing through, or making yourself wrong for feeling what you’re feeling.  Taking a step back from the spiraling “what ifs” did help.  But the second thing I did this time that helped in the moment of intense anxiety was really trying to pinpoint the root of the anxiety.  There was a point where I was questioning, “What am I even anxious about?”.  I was completely operating in my emotional brain.  Taking a moment to step back to the present moment helped me to sort out what was going on.  Just acknowledging the actual source of the anxiety helped me to move forward.  I didn’t solve the causes or make them go away but identifying and acknowledging helped “give it a name” so I could move forward with the other strategies.  I talked it out with my support team … shout out to my sister and husband who are always there for me even when I’m at my worst.  I tried to balance caution with not letting fear (of what might never be) stop me.  I had to trust that I will be protected, trust in my body, and trust in my ability to make the right decision.  Then there was some nourishing … a nice fire with the kids in the warm evening.  

Following this, I tried to return to my journaling, meditation and self-Reiki routines to re-balance.  I feel strongly about being honest and upfront about my struggles.  I hope that these are helpful to you all in some way.  I’m here for you.  

- Amanda

5 Ways Chakras Can Become Blocked

Just like everything else in life our energetic system also needs balance.  If one or more of our chakras become blocked, our whole energetic system can be out of balance.  This imbalance can result in physical, psychological or emotional difficulties.  But how does this happen?  How do our chakras become blocked?  Here are 5 ways … 

1. Physical Trauma

Our energetic system is what carries the life force energy through our whole body.  Interruption in this system can occur when our physical body is impacted by an illness or injury of any kind.  Although we may have superficially healed from this event, oftentimes there is an underlying memory of this event held within our body.  

2. Emotional Trauma

Emotional trauma can include a range of events ranging from isolated, minor incidents to chronic situations.  We experience events where these emotions may be too much to process all at once and these emotions remain in our body.  Losses that we have endured and violations of our trust can also remain within our body.  Our nervous system can become overwhelmed, triggering our “fight or flight” instinct.  Our physiological mechanisms can help us to function in everyday life by separating us from our trauma.  However, this trauma remains stored in our body resulting in blockages in our energetic system.

3. Longstanding Limiting Beliefs

Beliefs are thoughts that are held to be true.  Limiting beliefs are those negative beliefs we hold as truth regarding ourselves or how the world works that are holding us back from truly loving ourselves and living our best lives.  Over time, the reinforcement of these beliefs can contribute to blockages within the corresponding chakra.

4. Chronic Stress

Today’s modern lifestyle has us conditioned for chronic stress.  Our busyness keeps us operating in the sympathetic nervous system (“fight or flight”) and tension builds in our physical body.  These areas of tension can contribute to blockages within our energy system.  

5. Unhealthy Lifestyle

All of our daily choices can contribute to our overall health.  From our choice of food, to thought patterns, to our environment, to movement and sleep patterns.  Each decision can contribute to the overall health of our energetic system.